Just A Solitary Man

Some times I feel like I am going backwards faster than I am going forwards. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm going forwards or backwards. Sigh! This past week or so has been that way. The more I try to get organized the more disorganized I am. I enjoy reading the blog at www.totallyadd.com. Today's post was really fun. I would like to try it with some people I know. But as the author said, it would just make people angry and that doesn't help them understand.

Of course, I also like the previous post there. I have trouble determining what the biggest rock is I need to get done. And there are so many rocks! And what about the gravel and sand and water? So I do the best I can and try to get to the rocks first and the rest in order. What's left over will be dealt with tomorrow. It's all a matter of perspective I suppose.

Still struggling with the weight though. I'm back to recording it on CalorieKing but I haven't been consistent enough to get a good grasp on how I'm doing. It's my intention (big rock) to keep the recording and weigh-in current. It's impossible to make progress if you don't know how you're doing. By the way, I weighed in at 382.3 last Sunday. I'll post on Sunday how I did this week.

These posts would be a great bit angrier if I wrote in the evening instead of in the morning. The frustrations of the day really push me over the edge. I need to find a way to express my anger then, maybe in a paper journal. It's so much less stressful to try to avoid those anger causing events, but they still put a nick in my self-esteem. I was supposed to be in Des Moines today to attend an Ingathering meeting. However, I am short of money this month so I didn't go. I can tell myself I didn't go because the cruise control on the truck isn't working and that strains my knee, but the reality is that the money just isn't there.

Time to start filling that jar. Let's see -- identify and sort out the rocks and put them in the jar, then the gravel...