I'm an Addict and I Admit It!

I have this terrible addiction and I don't know what to do about it. I didn't have it while I was working, but after I entered involuntary retirement it really took off. I can sleep without it affecting me too much, but I have lost sleep over it. It grabs hold of me when I wake up and doesn't let go until I go to sleep. I've tried weaning myself off, and have even quit cold turkey, but nothing worked. I've considered getting rid of the source, but can't bear the thought of doing it and being without.

I don't know if my ADHD has a part in it, but I am suspicious. As soon as I get up I have to have my first fix, and it just keeps it hitting me all day. Yes, if I don't turn on the TV first thing in the morning and get my first fix of news I'm lost. The reason I think my ADHD has a role in it is my need for change. I became disabled shortly after my retirement and the loss of mobility and the ability to effect change in my house and outside really drags me down. I get some of the little things done, but my lack of ability to make big changes is frustrating.

So for the most part, I can only effect change when I watch TV. That's why news shows help me stay focused - their always changing. I can do some things like checking my email and banking, but sorting is an exercise in frustration. I want to put everything in the right place and order, but where is that? I even bought a NEAT scanner to help me get rid of piles of paperwork, but now it's buried under more papers!

I've considered getting the help of a professional organizer, but I don't think there is anyone in my area that does that kind of thing. My mental health professional at the VA is no help. She's mainly focused on my losing weight. I am losing weight so that's helping, but not with my clutter. I've even thought about getting help from an ADHD counselor, but I don't have the money for that. The local ADHD support group is focused on children, so I can't get any help there as an adult with ADHD.

Oh wretched man that I am! who will deliver me from the body of this death?